Yes, you got it 100%. I agree, it is not idiomatic, but was intended to call back the "death before dishonor" trope that your sibling commenter mentioned. I intended "dishonor" to cover a number of cases short of my death where I might be unable to continue to care for my obligations for a long period of time. For example, imprisoned, deplatformed, critically injured in a coma, lost in a serious mental health crisis, etc. In some ways, handling that is a harder challenge than handling death, as there are fewer well-worn paths to follow.