> Perhaps if I didn't have responsibilities or trauma or stress or a thousand other things I could put all my energy into self control.

This is so relatable. Right before Covid, I was working really hard at counting calories and was looking at going below 200 lbs for the first time in my adult life. Then Covid hit, my life was upended, and I prioritized other things; I'm up about 40 lbs from then.

I can only devote so much energy to this kind of intensive lifestyle change, and other things have been taking precedence (including, recently, working out—that's been a huge lifestyle improvement [other than Wednesday being leg day and my legs still yelling at me], but hasn't led to weight loss).