Intel's naming isn't great, but it's pretty clear. Look at Wikipedia's List of Intel Processors[1] and for 14 generations since 2010, the higher the model number, the faster the processor. The model number like 13700 starts with the generation (13th) and then place in that (700 is upper-mid). Then a capital letter indicating something about form factor.

Compare with List of AMD processors[2] and a "70xx" model could be a Zen Naples Epic, A Zen 2 Mendocino Ryzen, a Zen 2 Rome Epyc, a Barceló-R Ryzen Zen 3, a Milan Epyc Zen 3, a Rembrandt-R Zen 3+, a Zen 4 Raphael Ryzen or Storm Peak Threadripper, or a laptop Ryzen. Wikipedia people can't even put these into a table to compare them, it's pages of random names and overlapping/re-used numbers.

Apple, as usual, have M1, M2, M3 and each one has plain/pro/max/ultra.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Intel_processors#Lates...

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_AMD_processors

> I'll take a name like Epyc over Intel Core Ultra 7 258V or Ryzen AI 9 HX 370.

Well no, the comparison to "Epyc" is "Intel Core" and "Ryzen"

And if you gave each SKU its own name I think that would very quickly get worse than the stupid numbering schemes.