Unpopular opinion but powershell, available on Linux, supports all of the things this article wanted to do out the box.
Never have I wanted to stab out my eyes as much as when wrestling with powershell.
One of the requirements of the author was something that could work on embedded-sized resources.
It does, but it's so darn weird. Can we have another flavour of Powershell but with some other language hooked up to its dotnet underpinnings? Like I dunno, I would even take Lua over the weird syntax of PS.