I've rejected most of my pain into a black hole, but as the person who wrote the Ansible scripts to bring up dev machines, I had nothing but loathing for nvm. It someone always managed to find bold new ways to misbehave & crud up. It was incredibly unpleasant to work with.

Someone else suggested we switch to asdf & what a rapid & happy migration that was. Good riddance nvm.

nvm is unbearably slow, this is really fast. 200 to 300ms latency whenever you open a terminal is noticible and I was getting far more than that sometimes, up to 1sec. Its really really bad.