I mean, yeah, the animatronics are weird in today's age, but honestly, the whole premise is what does the chain's image in.

Is it really anything other than chaos and sleaze distilled? You can have stoned 19-year-olds cavorting in the supply closet, drunken parents slugging it out at a birthday party, a man sneezing on a pizza he just baked, and a crying child defecating in the ball pit simultaneously. All against a hypnotic background of flashing lights and arcade sounds.

This is a grotesquery, torn from the pages of Huxley. One can only imagine the Romans had a similar palace of decadence for children shortly before their collapse.

No sane society would allow this to exist, let alone as a profitable enterprise. I know anglophone North America isn't sane, but isn't this a little too far, even for us?