alt Hacker News> "You're basically treating everyone with kid gloves all the time. Never tell someone they're wrong, go out of your way to praise people, treat everyone like the noble protagonist in their own story."
The book says that a person can deliver criticism and disagreement in ways that don't make the recipient defensive and that people respond positively when their accomplishments are recognized in a sincere and meaningful way. As for the last, that's simply the way most, if not all, people are; it's a failing that's almost universal.
It's about learning to be a person that is thoughtful to others and considerate of the foibles of humanity. I suppose a person could use it as a template for faking empathy and generally being manipulative but that's very much not what it suggests.
I mean, I'm not going to change your mind. I don't want to. I've read the book. I found it very helpful in a practical sense, while at the same time as finding it horrifying.
>that's simply the way most, if not all, people are; it's a failing that's almost universal.
Again, I don't disagree with you that this is a problem for the median person. My point is that, for the most part, I'm not really interested in being close friends with the median person. Friends in a sense? Sure. Chat at a bar? Sure. But not people I really talking about interesting things with. The median person isn't going to mesh very well with my personality.
The ivory tower was an isolated tower for a reason. Intellectuals were literally under threat of execution for the vast majority of human history. The underlying currents for that are basically reflected in the assumptions that Carnegie makes.
I want intellectual friends. I want be shown that I'm wrong. I learn something when I'm wrong. I understand that's not a common trait, but it's how I am, and how I want to be.