The Onion couldn't even make half of this up without looking like bad writers... but here we are
Someone quoted this headline elsewhere, so I looked up the actual article[0].
It would have been hilarious back in 2001. It's... scarily prescient in 2025. Can satire be just too good?
[0]: https://theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-pea...
Reality isn't constrained by quality bars.