I built a simple web app that helped make me more present during a family tragedy:

https://touchgrass.fm/

Brief backstory: While visiting us overseas, my in-laws were in a very bad car accident. Everyone involved is alive and going to be okay. But what followed was a series of emotional, physical and logistical challenges that pushed my wife and her parents to their limits.

During this time I found myself (shamefully) hiding on my phone. I was obsessively refreshing for updates from insurance/hospital teams, sending empty messages, and mindlessly scrolling feeds. My screen time was averaging 12 hours a day. Time I could have spent being fully present with my wife and her parents.

I finally accepted I have a serious phone addiction. I tried Apple Screen Time and a few popular screen time management apps, but found the blocks were too easy to bypass, and some apps were as useful as they were distracting depending on the context (e.g. YouTube). I didn’t necessarily want to use my phone less: it’s an incredibly useful tool, and the distractions were sometimes helpful.

What I really needed was intentional stretches of time spent away from my phone. I built touchgrass.fm as a simple way to record and incentivize those stretches of time. It’s not quite finished, but it’s been helping me stay present for hospital visits, meals and important conversations.