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SoftTalkerlast Saturday at 2:21 AM6 repliesview on HN

One thing that helps with this: getting old. You just stop worrying about what other people think of you. All the drama and gossip and cliquish behavior just gets so boring.

Why do you think old fat guys walk around naked in the locker room at the gym? They've certainly got nothing to show off, but they don't give a shit.


Replies

bisRepetitalast Saturday at 9:01 AM

Yes. And this is very helpful. If you are young and you suck at something, more people will give you the benefit of the youth and envision you may improve. If you're old and you suck at something, many will think you're just old, and you just suck. "Don't hurt yourself!" So yes, not giving a shit is a very good way to make progress.

vishnuguptalast Saturday at 3:52 AM

For me this is it.

Whenever someone does “statusy” things I just know how it feels like having done it before so I just move on and don’t participate in that theater anymore.

Llamamoelast Saturday at 9:39 AM

Or maybe you just done need to.

We live in a society in which older people(or men, at least) get some degree of implicit status and respect - which is probably why our governments are all getontocracies.

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FlyingSnakelast Saturday at 4:54 AM

Sometime around mid-30s I stopped caring about what people think about me and it had a great effect on my mental well being. I reconnected with age old Lindy wisdom and started reading classics that helped me with my midlife crisis. Not giving a fuck surprisingly opens up lots of doors.

Status games and tech-bro style hustle culture only leads to burnout.

matwoodlast Saturday at 8:06 AM

"Sexy indifference" is how I've heard it. Don't be a jerk about it, but also give off the DGAF vibe. It works.

aspenmayerlast Saturday at 2:43 AM

They “let it all hang out” quite literally.

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