alt Hacker News> why is confidence == good?
Speaking from experience as an introvert who suffered social anxiety...
A lot of people (probably extroverts) don't respond well when you're expressing anxiety and/or doubt. Clients won't want to work with you. People won't want to be around you at parties. Co-workers will speak behind your back about the weird person. Etc.
Replies
That might be true generally and shallowly, but I've gotten way further both professionally and personally by being vulnerable and honest with my anxieties and insecurities.
Especially with other neurospicy folks, it's a very easy way to bond. My issues might not be the exact same, but it's close enough that they can empathize and grow closer as friends/coworkers.
But we also talk shit about the guy who exudes confidence and messes everything up. He actively makes stuff worse due to his attitude.
I'd rather own my mistakes than be a walking contradiction.
To be fair he's probably overconfident. But picking up any sense of false confidence(not a shy buddy attemping to 'fake it til you make it', more serious matters) is a massive red flag to me that I can't trust their judgement of their own knowledge or capabilities. Someone who says straight up it will be difficult gets a lot more trust from me.
SAD sucks, you have my sympathy. its not fair some of the cards people are dealt but i can recommend focusing on competence rather than confidence and being compassionate to yourself as you navigate the world (advice i should take myself!). best wishes.