>I've never had a Debian system break without it being my fault in some way.
Debian is great but I can't say this is a shared experience. In particular, I've been bitten by Debian's heavy patching of kernel in Debian stable (specifically, backport regressions in the fast-moving DRM subsystem leading to hard-to-debug crashes), despite Debian releases technically having the "same" kernel for a duration of a release. In contrast, Ubuntu just uses newer kernels and -hwe avoids a lot of patch friction. So I still use Debian VMs but Ubuntu on bare metal. I haven't tried kernel from debian-backports repos though.
These days all of my “Debian” bare metal systems are technically running Proxmox, which I think is a relatively happy medium as far as the base Debian system goes — the Proxmox kernel is basically the Ubuntu kernel, but otherwise it’s a pretty standard Debian system.
I’ve thought about (ab)using a Proxmox repository on an otherwise stock Debian system before just for the kernel…
The upstream kernel already backports enough regressions on its own to its stable releases, Debian's kernel team does not help them too much with that.
Which GPU, display server and compositor stack are you using?
> Debian's heavy patching of kernel in Debian stable
Needs citation.
Debian stable uses upstream LTS kernels and I'm not aware of any heavy patching they do on top of that.
Upstream -stable trees are very relaxed in patches they accept and unfortunately they don't get serious testing before being released either (you can see there's a new release in every -stable tree like every week), so that's probably what you've been bit by.