> C uses a needlessly confusing spiral rule
Libellous! The "spiral rule" for C is an abomination and not part of the language. I happen to find C's type syntax a bit too clever for beginners, but it's marvellously consistent and straightforward. I can read types fine without that spiral nonsense, even if a couple of judicious typedefs are generally a good idea for any fancy function types.
> fancy function types
If the syntax were straightforward, plain old function types wouldn't be ‘fancy’ :)