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AnimalMuppetyesterday at 2:24 AM4 repliesview on HN

I think the secret is "clearly better than anyone I've got".

If I have nobody, and you introduce me to someone, then it's simple. They're absolutely worth pursuing.

If I have one or two "maybes", and you introduce me to someone, it's easy for them to be clearly better than anyone I've got, and therefore clearly "the one", at least the one to pursue right now.

But if you give me one hundred, then there probably isn't one of them that is clearly better than all the others. Hence, analysis paralysis.


Replies

kibwenyesterday at 5:07 AM

> If I have nobody, and you introduce me to someone, then it's simple. They're absolutely worth pursuing.

Not quite. No matter how badly you want a relationship, I guarantee there exist potential partners with whom a relationship would make your life worse, not better. And for most people, the set of absolutely disastrous potential partners is most people.

Terr_yesterday at 6:30 AM

That makes me think of the Secretary Problem [0]... which apparently is also known as the Fussy Suitor problem, at that makes it extra apropos.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secretary_problem

show 1 reply
kelnostoday at 12:30 AM

There are plenty of people you could be with that would be a strictly worse experience than being alone.

DANmodeyesterday at 5:35 PM

Make the shortest list of requirements, and hard-no traits, possible.

It’s the only way.