alt Hacker NewsI think big distinction is “doing it on purpose, in a thought out manner” vs “just being who you are and people falling into friendship with you”.
Doing it on purpose - even if you don’t have bad intentions - still feels selfish, you make them like you for your own benefit first and foremost as you want them to be your friends.
Replies
yarekt • yesterday at 11:35 PM
It's almost the same argument, but backwards: You think they are a good person, so you want them to do well. Because they are good, they also want you to do well. Same result, but intentions are backwards.
nkrisc • yesterday at 10:46 PM
I’m curious how you accidentally or unintentionally become friends with someone. Being friends almost always requires intent.
➕ show 1 reply
If I didn't do it on purpose, I will never do it, with anyone, including my own family. It does not happen "automatically" for me. I have to be mindful about it. "Force" myself to do it. Do it "on purpose".
Your proposed course of action would leave me with no friends or relationships.
To me, the phrase "relationships take effort" - means literally that. Because every single interaction takes effort.
Perhaps this is one of those "introvert vs extrovert" things.