This seems pretty knee-jerk. I do most of this and have delivered a hell of a lot of software in my life. Many projects are still running, unmodified, in production, at companies I’ve long since left.

You can get a surprising amount done when you aren’t spending 90% of your time fighting fires and playing whack-a-mole with bugs.

I don't really see anything in it that particularly difficult our counter-productive. Or, to be honest, anything that isn't just plain good coding practice. All suitably given as guidelines not hard and fast rules.

The real joy of having coding standards, is that it sets a good baseline when training junior programmers. These are the minimum things you need to know about good coding practice before we start training you up to be a real programmer.

If you are anything other than a junior programmer, and have a problem with it, I would not hire you.

Which parts of it seem objectionable?

This does not apply to you. You use a garbage collector.