I've honestly never understood what backtesting even does because of the things you mention like time it takes to request and close trades (if they even do!), responses to your trades, the continuous and dynamic input of the market into your model, etc.

Is there any reference that explains the deep technicalities of backtesting and how it is supposed to actually influence your model development? It seems to me that one could spend a huge amount of effort on backtesting that would distract from building out models and tooling and that that effort might not even pay off given that the backtesting environment is not the real market environment.