If you want to design a proper fuck off contact page, one valuable thing is: put as many mandatory fields as you can into the contact form!

Full name, contact e-mail, your corporate rank, company name, company phone number, what kind of product are you making, have you fucked off yet, no, then the address of your company's legal office, the name of your pet and how many millions is your company willing to spend with us. That's the bare minimum!