> I may eventually get to the wall label part but this is tough.
Good luck. After the first few paragraphs I thought of a great quote that I heard somewhere: "Twitter ruined my reading skills, but it vastly improved my writing skills."
If you're trying to actually get a point across (vs. writing something that is just read for pleasure) GET TO THE DAMN POINT.
I suspect the presentation felt different to the audience who were receiving it at the talk, rather than us reading it at our own pace.