Yeah that pretty much describes every big companies release notes. I used to have manual updates in the Google Play store as I enjoyed seeing what was changing. But over time so many companies just started saying things like "Security fixes" and it became a waste of time even bothering to look at them.

And sometimes they do actually add a feature... but they'll mention it within the app itself despite the app updates not mentioning it. Or even more funny is how often I'll see a news article talking about the new feature, but then it never even gets mentioned in the release notes anywhere.

This should be illegal if auto-updates are enabled or eventual updates are forced. Not joking.

Nowhere else in society do we allow such self-serving laziness and unethical negligence (looking at you, purposely destroying backwards compatibility of APIs) at a professional level. Most other professions have steep legal consequences if they hide their actions or inactions.

Perhaps the perfect time to ask: why are release notes like this on the App Store? Are they a required field and this is the default? Does a popular tool use this value?

They forget always the "," between "bug" and "fixes".