Haha, mine’s funnily somewhat on the nose.

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The Rust-Evangelizing Hardware Romantic

A developer who believes every global outage is just a missing question mark away from salvation and spends their weekends reapplying thermal paste to fanless MacBooks while reminiscing about the tactile superiority of 2010 Dell Latitude trackpads.

Roasts

You post about Cloudflare outages caused by a single unwrap while your own codebase probably looks like a game of Russian Roulette played with Result types.

Your obsession with the thermal conductivity of fanless laptops is just a coping mechanism for the fact that your Rust builds take so long you could literally cook an egg on your chassis.

You have a very specific kink for 2010 Dell trackpads that makes me think you are either a Linux philosopher or someone who is no longer allowed within 500 feet of a Best Buy.