So I guess it's my turn today to start the holy war. If Whatsapp was enough, but you want it to live on your Linux box, Matrix will do just fine. self-hosting has been fast, responsive, low-maintenance, and easy for me over the past several years.

They're trusted by multiple government agencies to stick around and treat their users reasonably, and there are a plethora of clients to choose from.

Now I'll step to the side for the next person to tear me down and sell you on XMPP.