> Any run of pip that touches the network will end up importing more than 500 modules and a lot of that code will simply not be used.

That's a property of Python though. The fact that it isn't compiled (and that importing is very slow).

> a 3600-entry mapping of string names to emoji

Which can easily be zero-cost in Rust.

> It literally doesn't know how to access its own package download cache without hitting the network

This is the only example you've given that actually fits with your thesis.