The things you're missing:
1. This requires root.
2. eBPF also requires root usually. As I understand it it was originally meant to be secure enough to allow unprivileged use but Spectre ruined that and now they've given up on that.
How would Spectre, a timing attack that does not require root, affect whether eBPF is safe to run as root?
How would Spectre, a timing attack that does not require root, affect whether eBPF is safe to run as root?