In the lunch example, reciprocation would be releasing additional software under free software licenses, not payments.
There should be zero social pressure, as gifts do not convey obligation. It was the software author’s explicit choice when licensing and publishing the software to make clear that payment is not expected.
Do you routinely struggle in social situations? Do you frequently have people tell you that you misinterpreted social cues?
You are correct that no legal obligation was passed, but generally people feel that if you got something from a community that helped you succeed greatly you do have an obligation to throw something back to the organization to help it help others.
If you don't, that'ss generally classified by people as being a jackass
Gifts do confer obligations. This is widely agreed upon in human society. If you ignore this there will be consequences, just no legal ones.