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yesfitzyesterday at 9:07 PM1 replyview on HN

From my experience, here's the general lowest-effort way to find community:

Make a list of public places that you like (bars, coffee shops, game shops, etc.) and go to them at the same time on the same day every week. You'll shortly start seeing the same people regularly, even if it's just the staff.

Then you can greet those people, introduce yourself, and talk with them. By asking questions about their day, their plans, and sharing the same about yourself, you'll open the door to expanding your social life outside of those locations, hours, and people.

Community doesn't need to be a series of planned events and invitations. It can be implicit and organic just by virtue of regularly sharing space.

Personal anecdote:

I do this with pinball. Sure, it's often in bars, but it's a great way to be at a bar without having to drink. Pinball players are happy to talk about pinball (or anything really), it provides an instant topic of conversation, and it's easy to invite another player to a game because it's such a short commitment. And if no one's around that you want to talk to, or you don't feel like focusing on socializing, you can just play the game while still maintaining your regular schedule.

If you want to try following in my exact footsteps, you can use Pinball Map[1] to find locations near you. Good luck!

1: https://pinballmap.com/map


Replies

legerdemaintoday at 12:26 AM

This has absolutely never worked for me in cafes, not in decades of trying across multiple states. Cafe regulars either bring their own company or "laptops open, headphones on, heads down."

Amusingly, the rec league pinball people are absolutely ferocious about promotion. Pretty much every thread in r/bayarea about looking for friends gets a pitch from a pinball person.