> a significant proportion of the people you used to hang out with have kids and disappear off the face of the Earth for two decades.

I’ve been on both sides of this, so I’m going to put this out into the universe:

Your friends with kids still want to see you.

They have a lot to deal with suddenly. They’re exhausted.

But they miss hanging out with you, and will leap at the opportunity to hang out if you take the initiative and make some kid-friendly accommodations.

They may decline more often than before, because the kid is sick or sleeping or not sleeping so the adults just need to lay low. But don’t take that “no” as a “stop asking”.