Number 14 really speaks towards the subtle difference between being domineering in conversation and genuinely a sme in an area with little overlap in other people's domain knowledge. I feel like being extremely transparent in explaining the rationale and to a degree teaching really reinforces that boundary.

If you get to a point of silent resentment 'debt' in spite of efforts to empathise, consider perspective, and provide clarity, then you have a collaboration problem on the other end. How you choose to address that is dependent on your political capital, and sometimes you need to accept it.

Young me naively believed people were like rational automatons who would speak up when appropriate, not take thinga personal, and aspire to the true north that I aspired to as a colleague, and that is no baseline for a healthy collaboration.