> Also note that scientists and doctors are no longer on the frontlines of the change that's sweeping across society. It's activists who realize that identity and community is more important than cold logical arguments.

What I'm about to say is very negative, but please don't think it's directed at you. I'm just jaded and have seen some things.

I can respect that you see a problem and want to solve it, and I even agree that it's a problem. The suicide rate, for example, can at least partly be blamed on the way society (especially children) treat people who are different. That said, I can't help but feel that you are missing a few key things.

1) It's a medical condition. Better activism doesn't lead to better patient outcomes. It just puts conflicting pressures on already overtaxed doctors that make it hard for them to treat patients properly. See what's happening to trans folks for an example.

2) Forcing people to use different words to describe you doesn't make them respect you more, it just frustrates them that they can't speak plainly.

Take the medical term "Mongoloid" for example. It was used to describe the people we now call "Intellectually Disabled" until it became an insult. So doctors invented a new term: "Moron." Moron almost immediately became an insult, so they invented "Mentally Retarded." Mentally retarded became an insult, and was actually *outlawed* in 2010 (Literally outlawed, check out Rosa's law). A few weeks ago I heard my niece make fun of my nephew by calling him "mentally challenged" and doing a hand gesture. He was no less offended than he would have been if she'd used any of the other terms.

The history of that sickness is a history of euphemisms: Simpleteon, Cretin, Imbecile, Mongoloid, Retard, Idiot, Defective, etc... The've all been socially acceptable designations at one point, but each time a new one is created it also turns into an insult. It's not the phrasing that is the problem here, and it can't be fixed by adjusting the language we use (although I'm sure we'll keep inventing new euphemisms forever). There's a fundamental aspect of "not being smart" that people find insulting so whatever you call them BECOMES THE INSULT. We can't change that, it's just how humans are.

Similarly, autistic people are *Weird*. We just don't fit in well, and neither scolding the kids on the playground for using the wrong terms or blasting some Joe Six-Pack on twitter are going to change their minds.

Even if we get them to change their words, the words will become insults by virtue of being tied to the "weird people". When you finally convince everyone to call us "neurodiverse" it will mean that neurodiverse has become an insult. When we convince them it's just a "personality type" it we be regarded as a bad personality type.

Changing other people just doesn't work. You have to change what you expect from them if you want to be happy. It's all your really in charge of.