Traumatic childhood almost always messes with how one attaches with people. A small exceptional fraction somehow manage to remain unaffected.

When attachment styles get warped, behaviors that were a self protective behavior in childhood, become self-defeating behaviors in adult life. The person is quite oblivious to all this because those behaviors and fragile modes of attachment feel perfectly normal -- it is like growing up in a different g (acceleration due to gravity).

It feels like - I am right, it's the others who are wrong, unfair, greedy, needy, flakey, stupid.

For me this book [0] was very helpful for understanding what's going on in and around me

[0] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9547888-attached