>> I expect by this time tomorrow I'll have been Cunningham'd and there will be a 2000 word essay about how all of my gripes are either easily fixable by doing XYZ or how they are the best possible choice that Prolog could have made.

In that case I won't try to correct any of the author's misconceptions, but I'll advise anyone reading the article to not take anything the author says seriously because they are seriously confused and have no idea what they're talking about.

Sorry to be harsh, but it seems to me the author is trying their damnedest best to misunderstand everything ever written about Prolog, and to instead apply entirely the wrong abstractions to it. I don't want to go into the weeds, since the author doesn't seem ready to appreciate that, but Prolog isn't Python, or Java, or even Picat, and to say e.g. that Prolog predicates "return true or false" is a strong hint that the author failed to read any of the many textbooks on Prolog programming, because they all make sure to drill into you the fact that Prolog predicates don't "return" anything because they're not functions. And btw, Prolog does have functions, but like I say, not going into the weeds.

Just stay away. Very misinformed article.