This isn't a great solution, but it has helped me forgive myself, maybe it can be a trend in the future: You didn't pick your DNA, you didn't pick your environment. (Determinism in a nutshell)

The bad things that happened to you, and the bad thing you did, should be seen as somewhat outside our control.

I think of my worst google searches (nsfw stuff) and think: "Well, I'm just a chemical reaction."

But then again, I read the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts and found I'm pretty vanilla, we just don't talk about these things out loud.

Maybe my life is tame, but even when I hear from other people, everything seems pretty reasonable.

I know this is an 'after the fact' fix, but its a tool for our toolbox. We could look at people who criticize us as people who are ignorant of Determinism. (But we still need mechanisms to deter bad behavior)