alt Hacker NewsSounds like a difficult situation, and I think I can relate - I hope for you that you can find some people who you actually enjoy hanging out with and who appreciate you for who you are. We all have our little quirks, and part of a good relationship is to graciously "overlook" them. That is not twisting yourself, it's accommodating your counterpart. For personal stuff, it often helps me to get out of my head to redirect the thoughts from "what do I want" to "what do they want and how can I give it to them". Once I started considering others wants more, i also noticed more when they were gracious towards me, which, I think, made me a bit less of an ungrateful dipshit and generally easier to be around. Wish you all the best!
Either I am misunderstanding or you replied to the exact opposite of my post.
The skew of your reply seems to be "Don't be so demanding of other people, be more accomodating, give them a break and realize how much they're doing for you".
My whole point was that I do not expect people to put on an act, a show or anything for me, that I want them to be at ease and natural around me without forcing themselves. I do not want them to do anything for me. And I myself wish only to be taken as I am, without having to "pay", to extend, to do something for them, in the same way.
Perhaps I'm projecting the ghost of past conversations onto this one, but it feels like you're telling me I'm acting entitled by not wanting to pay a return for what I'm being offered. I do not value people forcing themselves to entertain me, and neither do I wish to force myself to entertain them in return. I simply do not *want* to participate in such transactional relationships. But people like you come around and "perform for me" without my asking or consent and then call me entitled for rejecting the trade. Does your kind not like being at ease? Do you give gifts only because you expect that they'll be returned? That's not the life for me.