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dmichulkeyesterday at 12:47 PM2 repliesview on HN

Good point.

Tangentially, you could ask: Are you addicted to being useful or to being recognized as useful.

One is your own need, the other often a covered contract where you lash out or silently resign if you don't get the recognition that you think you deserve.


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ameliusyesterday at 12:59 PM

I'm surprised nobody asks whether you're at fault here, or she is.

Next time, maybe ask her to come up with solutions, e.g. do a brainstorm session.

If she then says she doesn't really want a solution, you can tell her then don't phrase your issues like that.

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ChrisMarshallNYyesterday at 2:00 PM

In my case, I really do want to be of use. In fact, I often tend to stay well in the background, and deliberately eschew credit.

That said, I do tend to get upset, when I’m taken for granted, but that’s really my own fault. I know it, rationally, but my inner brat still wants to throw a tantrum.

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