> DELETEs are likely fairly rare by volume for many use cases
All your other points make sense, given this assumption.
I've seen tables where 50%-70% were soft-deleted, and it did affect the performance noticeably.
> Undoing is really easy
Depends on whether undoing even happens, and whether the act of deletion and undeletion require audit records anyway.
In short, there are cases when soft-deletion works well, and is a good approach. In other cases it does not, and is not. Analysis is needed before adopting it.
Agreed. And if deletes are soft, you likely really just wanted a complete audit history of all updates too (at least that's for the cases I've been part of). And then performance _definitely_ would suffer if you don't have a separate audit/archive table for all of those.
> I've seen tables where 50%-70% were soft-deleted, and it did affect the performance noticeably.
At that point you should probably investigate partitioning or data warehousing.