so is there any open source alternative to these meeting apps? (selfhostable)
It's not open source, but up until a few years ago I used whereby.com for videochats.
Unlike the alternatives at the time from Google, Apple, etc., it didn't require an account for participants — I could just give them the meeting room URL. So although it wasn't open source, it at least didn't lock you into a network.
(Unlike you, I wasn't up for self-hosting.)
This one is often overlook but very good, I prefer it over Jitsi https://galene.org/
The French government built their own: https://github.com/suitenumerique/meet
For Teams-like chat I really like Zulip. Which also integrates with Jitsi for video conferencing
If you are hosting webinars there's also bigbluebutton