i know that. i run my own linux servers and i know how to use bash. but i specifically do not want to be doing any of these things on desktop. i was hoping, after such hype-wave for linux due to w11 being utter crap, that things got better. they did not. and yes, of course, this is just N1 experience.
This is understandable, to want everything point and click and go. But doubt your mindset matches that of the community, so unfortunately it may take a while…
Maybe try something more commercial like Zorin OS?
It seems like your experience with linux may have actually sabotaged your ability to point and click install things.
KDE has the "discover" app which does what it looks like you want (including installing intellij with 1 click). [1]
There's also bazaar for gnome which offers similar things [2]
Ubuntu also offers the "snap store" which similarly offers a 1 click install of apps. [3]
The mistake you made is going directly to the app distributors for installation. Because there's no unified linux it's impossible for app distributors to offer a single way to install their apps. They can't count on your PC having anything. That's why intellij distributes with a tar.
This, however, is typical in linux. Using a package manager is how you do things in standard linux, those package managers have just been typically ran by the command line.
[1] https://apps.kde.org/discover/
[2] https://github.com/kolunmi/bazaar
[3] https://ubuntu.com/blog/trust-and-security-in-the-snap-store