But then you would have to configure something on your router and have dynamic dns for remote access and that’s too hard.
Sell an additional $200 box containing a Raspberry Pi with Home Assistant on it and a cheap capacitive touchscreen and pre-configure it with Tailscale. Would be reasonably consumer-friendly. Give it a fancy name and start slapping "{$HOME_ASSISTANT} Compatible" branding logos on partners boxes.
If it's not quite as consumer-friendly as you want it to be, contribute your engineering hours to the Home Assistant product until it is.
Bonus points for giving it 25-250W audio output to power speakers and letting you pair them together to play music in sync across different rooms of your house connected to speakers of your choice.
I already have homeassistant configured for that. Why would I want a shitty vendor-provided version of it in the cloud?