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saaaaaamyesterday at 9:25 PM3 repliesview on HN

I talk to everyone. My friends and family joke that it’s impossible for me to go anywhere without getting into conversation with someone. I can’t imagine not doing it. Earlier this year I walked down the main shopping street it the part of the large city where I live, with a colleague from out of town.

A few shopkeepers waved through their windows as I went past, the greengrocer came out of his shop to have a quick chat, the dry cleaner asked after my dog, and the guy from the household shop told me they have more of the cleaning paste I use. We bumped into a couple of folk I see every couple of weeks, then got a coffee and I paid the “special” rate rather than the rate on the sign that they charge people they don’t know.

My colleague said - half jokingly - “I didn’t realise you were mayor”, and tried to convince me that I should go into local politics. She couldn’t understand when I said that would take all the pleasure out of it, because talking to people would become transactional rather than joyous.

I can’t imagine not talking to people. A while back I changed the route I take when I walk my dogs each day, and the guy who runs the local fish stall started asking people if I had left the area or died. I don’t buy fish from him each week- but every time I see him stop and we have a chat.

I feel incredibly lucky to be missed by my fishmonger just because I started walking my dogs a different route.

I grew up in a tiny village in the country. The building I live in has hundreds of people living in it, compared to the few dozen houses where I grew up. I think talking to people makes a huge city feel smaller.


Replies

faizetoday at 9:58 AM

I never make any small talk because I feel like I don't have anything to say or ask.

How do you know what to say? How do you make the conversation flow and not end awkwardly?

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rootusrootusyesterday at 9:42 PM

> talking to people would become transactional rather than joyous

Only if you let it! I am guessing you would do well, because people can absolutely tell when you are being a smarmy politician and when you're actually a legitimately friendly, decent person.

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parineumyesterday at 9:33 PM

> She couldn’t understand when I said that would take all the pleasure out of it, because talking to people would become transactional rather than joyous.

It doesn't have to and I suspect that's why your colleague suggested it. Politicians act that way because that's what people want except they don't want someone who is acting.

You have what politicians pretend to have because it makes people like them.

You might be a terrible politician for other reasons but I don't think what you've said is true.

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