Maybe network guys can give some hints? I guess they encounter such issue relatively often, when they can't access network equipment by network to fix the network issue. I know management consoles have separate networks on datacenter scale but it isn't that easy with even bigger networks.

I know you say "semi serious" but you can't seriously think there isn't an LLM for internal usage only in Anthropic, right.

The same guy who used to fix stack overflow, presumably

Most ops fixes don’t involve writing code though.