I think right now US warships are rather close to China than the other way around, so in china they can say, see, they are close to us, we need weapons and military training already in schools.

This is not about self defence, it is about dominance and raw power.

The last time the Chinese started a war of aggression was in 1979.

The last time the US did was a week ago.

That sounds like a false dichotomy. A race to the bottom like you describe serves to benefit no one in the long run.