Obligatory red dwarf quote:

TOASTER: Howdy doodly do! How's it going? I'm Talkie -- Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?

LISTER: Look, _I_ don't want any toast, and _he_ (indicating KRYTEN) doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. NO TOAST.

TOASTER: How 'bout a muffin?

LISTER: OR muffins! OR muffins! We don't LIKE muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks!

TOASTER: Aah, so you're a waffle man!

LISTER: (to KRYTEN) See? You see what he's like? He winds me up, man. There's no reasoning with him.

KRYTEN: If you'll allow me, Sir, as one mechanical to another. He'll understand me. (Addressing the TOASTER as one would address an errant child) Now. Now, you listen here. You will not offer ANY grilled bread products to ANY member of the crew. If you do, you will be on the receiving end of a very large polo mallet.

TOASTER: Can I ask just one question?

KRYTEN: Of course.

TOASTER: Would anyone like any toast?