> I'm not new to dating educated professionals, and it seems to be an unfortunate recurrence balancing being torn between wanting a partner and family and worrying that any misstep could jeopardize their career or cost them opportunity.

There exist a large number of very smart people who are not that career-obsessed (the traits that you need for a fast career are rather different from "highly smart").

I consider it to be likely that you value character traits that made the partner predestinied for a successful career, but don't like the fact that because of this, they are often obsessed about their career.