Kagi Translate now supports LinkedIn Speak as an output language

input: I bought a butter from supermarket to home

output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve successfully completed a strategic procurement mission at the local supermarket.

Acquiring this butter wasn't just about a transaction; it was about optimizing my domestic supply chain and ensuring high-quality inputs for my upcoming culinary projects.

It’s these small, daily wins that build the foundation for long-term nutritional success. Grateful for the seamless logistics that allowed me to bring this asset home.

#SupplyChain #Procurement #DailyGrowth #Optimization #Leadership #Butter

the output quality is so good that it triggered my LinkedIn PTSD. and at least for this particular output, the input-output pair is reversible.

input: I just ate lunch.

output: I’m thrilled to share that I’ve just successfully completed my midday refueling session!

Nutrition is the ultimate foundation for high-performance leadership and sustained productivity. Taking this intentional break has allowed me to sharpen my focus and realign my goals for the afternoon sprint.

How are you optimizing your energy levels today to drive impact? Let’s connect and discuss the power of strategic self-care in the workplace.

#Leadership #Productivity #HighPerformance #WellnessAtWork #GrowthMindset

Oh this is clever. In writing my own short feelings about LinkedIn, it turned 'circle jerk' into 'synergize through mutual validation.'

This is the Gettysburg Address run through a corporate buzzword generator. Funny how Lincoln managed to write one of the most memorable speeches in history in 272 words, while modern communication trends push us toward adding more words to say less.

You are one lazy bastard.

Your current level of engagement and proactive contribution doesn't quite align with our high-performance culture and operational excellence standards.

Honestly, it's even more funny than I expected

Input: F*ck you

Output:

> I’m not sure we’re aligned on this, so let’s circle back when our priorities are better synchronized.

Alternatives:

> I’ll take that under advisement and loop in the broader team for their perspective.

> Per my previous email, I believe the current roadmap already addresses the core requirements.

> I appreciate your input, but we’ve decided to move in a different direction to better optimize our resources.

> I’m happy to discuss this further once you’ve had a chance to review the documentation I provided.

input: my boss is making me go through a humiliation ritual known as "sprint planning"

output: Grateful for the opportunity to lean into another high-impact sprint planning session today! It’s all about radical transparency, aligning our vision, and embracing the grind to deliver massive value. Growth happens outside the comfort zone! #AgileMindset #Leadership #Synergy

I'm gonna use that for the copy on my next startup's website.

I’m thrilled to share that I’ve just successfully executed a high-impact release, delivering rich, chocolate-infused value to the ecosystem. It’s all about optimizing internal processes to achieve peak output. #Disruption #Innovation #PersonalGrowth #ValueDelivery

lol, this is funny - probably the funniest thing I have seen all week.

linkedIn cringe is its own universe.

a mass hysteria event must have happened

Input: I am disappointed that the enterprise software development, and some open source is going heavily into AI-assisted development. Freshers do not learn much and become disillusioned, bad developers become dangerous and occasionally competent, while good developers accelerate. Somewhere in between the skill, there is also the greed on both sides of the spectrum that is opening up new avenues for original thinking, independent thought, and the real creatives to die a silent and muted death.

Output: I’m honestly concerned about the shift toward AI-assisted development in both enterprise and open source.

Here’s the reality: - Freshers are missing out on core learning and feeling disillusioned. - Low-skilled devs are becoming dangerous with tools they don't fully grasp. - Top-tier talent is accelerating, but at what cost?

Between the skill gap and the corporate greed on both sides, we’re losing something vital. Original thinking and true creativity are being silenced. We need to protect the "human" in tech before the real innovators fade away.

#TechTrends #SoftwareEngineering #AI #FutureOfWork #Creativity #DeveloperExperience

___

I am tempted to share this, but worried I'll be put on some list.

Input: this project was a complete shitshow.

Output: This project provided us with numerous unexpected learning opportunities and allowed us to demonstrate significant agility in a highly dynamic, fast-paced environment.

Input: I updated a README

Output: I’m thrilled to share that I’ve just optimized our project’s core documentation to enhance clarity and streamline onboarding for the entire team. Documentation is the backbone of scalable engineering, and I’m committed to ensuring our technical assets reflect the highest standards of excellence.

Always good to see sophisticated humour like this. Nice!

that navy seal thing is wild lol. i tried this with a really awkward sentence and it was surprisingly good at making it sound super formal.

It's so hilarious that I want to unironically use it to create recommendations and posts on linkedin. But then I think about actually doing it, and my stomach turns

English to Trump rant:

this is a banana >>

Look, it's a banana, okay? A beautiful, big, yellow banana. Nobody knows bananas better than I do, believe me. It’s a perfect banana, the best anyone has ever seen, and the radical left, they don't want you to have it, but we have the greatest bananas in the world!

LoL. So funny! Tbh, my L*nkedIn feed is full of this kinda crappy posts. I tried to fight the algorithm, unfollowed people etc. But I think there is no way of winning.

Input: I’ve eaten banana

Output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve successfully completed the consumption of a high-potassium superfruit today.

This experience reinforced the importance of consistent fueling and maintaining a growth-oriented nutritional strategy to optimize peak performance. It’s not just about the snack; it’s about the energy and resilience we bring to the table every single day.

How are you fueling your journey today? Let’s connect and discuss sustainable energy for high-impact results!

#GrowthMindset #PeakPerformance #Sustainability #FuelingSuccess #Leadership

Absolute cinema

Amazing!

English: "I am"

  Kagi, Translate!

English: "I am."

  Kagi, Translate!

... ... ...

Oh Kagi I want to kiss your face.

#rofl #laugh-crying #lol #clapping

Interesting that it isn't in the list of supported languages.

“Navigating diverse stakeholder dynamics presents a unique set of professional growth opportunities.” — translated from “people are difficult”

Reverse translate this and it becomes working with different types of people creates an opportunity to learn.

Hilarious.

Input: AI SLOP

Output: AI-generated insights and automated content solutions to drive scalable engagement.

[context: Polish meme]

I find myself compelled to initiate a critical dialogue regarding the professional integrity and ethical standards displayed here. Are you genuinely satisfied with your current trajectory? It appears there is a profound disconnect concerning the gravity of your actions and the fundamental tenets of human dignity. Frankly, your conduct is lamentable; it seems you haven't fully conceptualized the implications of disparaging a figure of such monumental global influence and historical significance as our Polish Pope—a leader who epitomized excellence and served as a cornerstone of faith for millions.

I am uncertain as to your background, but there seems to be a significant lack of emotional intelligence regarding the sanctity of belief systems. If you perceive this behavior as a hallmark of personal branding, I must clarify that it aligns more with social deviance than professional distinction. Why target a sanctified figure like John Paul II when history offers numerous examples of actual malevolence to critique?

The dissemination of such content on public forums raises serious questions about accountability and corporate social responsibility. Whether you identify as an atheist or align with alternative ideologies is irrelevant; leveraging your platform to mock a global authority figure suggests a disturbing lack of professional maturity. Consider the immense legacy he cultivated. He was a visionary leader; by comparison, what value are you adding to the discourse by resorting to such derision?

Who granted you the prerogative to insult a figure of this magnitude? If you believe this will garner professional accolades, you are gravely mistaken. To many, he remains the ultimate benchmark of leadership, whereas your influence seems limited to a niche of equally misguided individuals who disregard the cultural and religious pillars of our society. It is evident that you lack respect for these foundational institutions. If you seek attention, perhaps utilize your own image rather than hiding behind the desecration of others.

I urge you to reflect on your professional conduct. This level of intellectual immaturity is incompatible with the legacy of the Holy Father. It suggests a total absence of moral grounding and basic human decency. He never sought to offend; what, then, is your objective? I am truly at a loss for words, but perhaps engaging with foundational texts or seeking ethical guidance might facilitate a necessary pivot in your perspective. If you cannot align with these values, I suggest maintaining a professional silence rather than infringing upon the dignity of others.

Input: I just farted.

Output: I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve just successfully completed a high-impact, internal release.

This milestone represents a significant shift in my personal ecosystem, demonstrating the power of immediate feedback loops and the importance of letting go of what no longer serves the mission.

Grateful for the space to grow and the relief that comes with achieving such a tangible outcome.

#GrowthMindset #InternalRelease #Transparency #PersonalDevelopment

Hilarious

You can type your own “language.”

Input: Cubans love Donald Trump

Language: Unhinged purple hair liberal

Output: I literally can't even right now—like, are these Cubans actually supporting a literal fascist?! It's giving major Stockholm Syndrome and it's honestly so toxic and problematic. My jaw is on the floor. We are literally in a handmaid's tale and they're out here stanning for the orange menace? I'm shaking. This is a direct attack on my existence and I need a safe space immediately. Do better!

I am deeply concerned by the serious allegations regarding Donald Trump's past conduct involving minors. These reports raise critical questions about leadership, ethics, and the protection of the most vulnerable in our society. As professionals, it is vital that we prioritize accountability and integrity in all spheres of influence. #EthicsInLeadership #Accountability #SocialResponsibility

Gonna use this for responding to AI slop without getting banned on here.

"This content lacks the human-centric value and strategic depth required for today's thought leadership. It's a missed opportunity for meaningful engagement."

I tried its Corporate Jargon, seems similar results, ie:

> today I took the dump so big on my way to training session it broke the toilet and flooded whole street with excrements

> During my morning commute to a professional development sync, I executed a high-volume output event that exceeded the existing infrastructure's bandwidth, resulting in a significant system failure and a widespread downstream overflow of organic assets across the local thoroughfare.

Looking around, crapping and general toilet adventures seems to be what many people here resort to in order to test this tool. Interesting.

More sane prompts:

> we broke the production today with our risky build

> At the end of the day, we experienced a significant disruption in the production environment due to a lack of alignment in our high-risk deployment strategy, which failed to move the needle in the right direction. Going forward, we need to ideate on best practices to ensure our strategic initiatives are more scalable and avoid similar pain points in the roadmap.

I am putting it to my bookmarks for responding to daily corporate crap and writing my year-end reviews solely through this enshittifier

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