My home charger was like $500 ($300 with the credit I got from electric company) and install was like 250. No upgrade needed.
I've also owned a house before that had old electricity - knob and tube (this was before I had an electric car) and paid less than 10k to get the entire electricity system upgraded to something modern. I dont think your 5k-10k thing is accurate for the vast majority of houses.
How long ago was that? Things have changed in the economy recently