logoalt Hacker News

mettamagetoday at 1:03 PM4 repliesview on HN

One thing I read on IG that one couple decided to do in NL was what they call "stoepen" ("stoep" is the Dutch word for sidewalk). They'd get some chairs to their front yard, which is connected to the sidewalk, and they'd greet people and start chatting with them. When vibes clicked they'd invite them to come sit with them, until people got in the habit of sometimes coming by and sitting with them.

So there's that. Obviously there are other ways, but thought it'd be fun to share.

Also research on self-disclosure might help. Long story short: be the first to reveal some details about yourself and progressively go deeper to the level that you want, it's kind of a tit for tat type of thing. There was one popular article about it so you could "fall in love" but IMO it's not love, it's simply building a deeper connection. Check it out [1].

I used to be really interested in topics like this, so if you want to know more about it or brainstorm, feel free to reach out. My email is in my profile.

[1] https://36questionsinlove.com/


Replies

gausswhotoday at 2:23 PM

It's still common parlance in New Amsterdam (New York) today. 'Stoopin it' with friends/strangers is thankfully quite alive.

show 1 reply
ralferootoday at 1:13 PM

I wonder if that's actually related to the Afrikaans word "stoep", where it's used in the sense of verandah which is obviously where you'd sit outside the house and watch the word go by. Both meanings ultimately come from the original meaning of the word as "step".

show 1 reply
giant_ferntoday at 1:52 PM

Very similar to this "stoop coffee" concept

https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/stoop-coffee-how-a-simpl...

CalRoberttoday at 1:59 PM

Ah Nice! I read about a couple in I think the Bay Area doing this too, to great effect