> You’re getting worked up over nothing. Everything is going to be fine. So just relax, okay? You’re really overreacting.

> Trust me, it’s all going to work out perfect. Nothing bad is going to happen. It’s all under control.

> Why do you keep saying these things? I can tell when there’s trouble looming, and I really don’t sense that right now. We’re in control of this situation, and we know what we’re doing. So stop being so pessimistic.

> Look, you’ve been proven wrong, so stop talking. You’ve had your say already. Be quiet, okay? Everything’s fine.

https://theonion.com/this-war-will-destabilize-the-entire-mi...