alt Hacker Newsmay i ask which country/culture you are from?
how did you experience becoming a parent so early?
coming from europe i find that having kids so early is really looked down upon, but then i moved to china and found that people there get married much earlier than i am used to.
but chinese culture has a great support system. having children in your 20s means that grandparents are in their 40s and 50s, and they help you raise your children.
combined with my own experience of getting married only in my 30s i realized that the older people get, the less adaptable/flexible they become. they are set in their ways, and i concluded that the big benefit of getting married early is that you are more adaptable. you don't need to find a fully compatible partner as you are developing together with your partner. what you do need though, is support from your parents and from society.
i find this model so much better than the western one where you are left to your own devices once you leave the house, and where society doesn't at all support young parents. they are looked down upon as having messed up and not being ready.
Replies
I had a physics undergrad dad of a toddler as a roommate at my college dorm in Europe. Probably not as young as 15 but more like 16-17 when he had the child.
At the time it felt like culture shock to my own 17yo self —almost as much as the party creatures— but now I see it as the healthy life strategy that it is.
> may i ask which country/culture you are from? how did you experience becoming a parent so early?
Grew up poor in the US with extremely minimal family support, like the kind that kicks you out or has mental health issues. How did we become parents? Well, unprotected sex. Unless you mean how was the experience; in that case, I would not recommend my path. We both came from broken homes and we received little to no family support.
I think you have a point though. My wife and I figured out life together as a team before we were really fully formed individuals. We had so much more energy; I couldn't imagine starting over with kids at 40. The model of young working parents and helpful grandparents and other family makes a lot of sense. Kids in your 20s works well if you have the support.