Don't despair. The key to becoming proficient in advanced subjects like this one is to first try to understand the fundamentals in plain language and pictures in your mind. Ignore the equations. Ask AI to explain the topic at hand at the most fundamental level.

Once the fundamental concepts are understood, what problem is being solved and where the key difficulties are, only then the equations will start to make sense. If you start out with the math, you're making your life unnecessarily hard.

Also, not universally true but directionally true as a rule of thumb, the more equations a text contains the less likely it is that the author itself has truly grasped the subject. People who really grasp a subject can usually explain it well in plain language.