Not much different. FreeBSD's pf is a port of OpenBSD's pf, and nftables are heavily influenced by them.
At this point I rather doubt the sanity of people still sticking to iptables tbh.
So there is approximately one concept of "packet filter done right". UI madness is on UI authors.
> nftables are heavily influenced by them
Are they? I recently had to learn nftables and they seem to be iptables but with a slightly nicer syntax and without pre-defined chains. But otherwise, nftables directly maps to iptables and neither of them seem similar to pf.
The primary reason I stick to iptables instead of nft is that I already learned iptables decades ago, and some software I interact with still defaults to iptables and/or does not have full support for nft.
Why do you doubt the sanity of people sticking to iptables? What makes nft compelling?